Hi, friends. It’s been a while since I wrote the first installment of Dueling Poems, so here is another one! Flexing the ol’ creative writing muscle feels refreshing.
Last time, I poked fun at righteously-indignant Christians for oftentimes being narrow-minded and unloving (which is antithetical to biblical Christianity tbh). Since I’ve proven that I can criticize “my own kind” and that I acknowledge how hurtful some Christians can be, I think I’ve earned a turn at flipping the tables and poking fun at a certain kind of anti-religious person.
Obligatory preface statements conveniently summed up in a hashtag: #notall
A Satire from an Anti-Religious Perspective
I don’t like people who believe in fairytales
I hate their churches, too
If I can’t wrap my mind around something
It can’t possibly be true
I’m quite the intellectual
I rightfully have an air of superiority
Listening to a deluded Jesus freak
Would require a little humility
I don’t have the patience for that
And I see no tragic irony
In judging and condemning a whole group
Though some of them pray for me
I’d rather sit behind a screen
And tear people down
From that hobby, I can’t tell you
How much joy I’ve found
And what do the freaks do in the meantime?
Serve free meals to the community
Donate to charity
Give out food boxes at a pantry
Send cards to the lonely
Participate in prison ministry
Gather for worship, fellowship, and scripture studying
Spend time praying, meditating, self-reflecting, and repenting
Try to be more loving, caring, and forgiving
Subject their hearts to redemptive pruning
I could go out and serve the world
Like these other Jesus freaks
But then who would be around
To complain about everything?
The church is just a tax scam
They should start paying immediately
But church and state need a wall of separation!
These ideas aren’t at all contradictory
I’ve heard that God is love
But I’ve met some hypocritical Christians
Therefore, it stands to reason…
Every single one is bad, end of discussion!
I’m not into a God of love, anyway
It’s more fun to be condescending and petty
I mean…perusing Twitter to start futile debates?
Pull out the confetti!
I don’t understand these people
And I don’t want to or even need to
I’m smart enough to know
Whatever I assume about them is true
A Plea for Understanding
I approach you delicately
Because you may likely speak from pain
Since I don’t know, I won’t try to convince you
That there is no reason for your disdain
I simply implore you to remember
Not to judge all forests from some trees
Look at the good we do in the world
Maybe you will come to see
The people who were fed by us, clothed by us, loved by us
What about their stories?
You claim to hate all organized religion,
But would you want those people to go hungry?
Please hear this plea for a fair hearing
See our flaws, but acknowledge the positive things we do
and I will try with all my heart
To give the same consideration (not stereotyping) to you
And there you have it! Reminder–writing a satire about a certain type of person does not indicate that I am stereotyping an entire group. In fact, stereotyping is a concept that’s condemned in these poems! Some Christians got their toes stepped on by my first installment, so it’s probably inevitable for some to feel offended this time, too. Also, I do realize that Christianity and religion aren’t synonymous, though the poems could imply that.
Thanks for reading! What do you think about the poems, religious people, anti-religious people, or organized religion? Let me know in the comments.