Social Media Is High School All Over Again

So many people today (mostly milennials and zoomers) compete on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube for attention. Why do we so desperately crave validation? It feels like high school all over again…

…But I see a few key differences, so really, it’s like high school version 2.0.

In high school, at least in my time, the goal was conformity. All the cool kids shopped at Hollister and wore Rainbow flip flops. Fitting in meant wearing the same basic fit on repeat.

Now, it’s the opposite: you must stand out in some way for your popularity to skyrocket. In a sea of wanna-be’s competing for likes and subscribers and watch hours, why should anyone follow you or spend their limited time consuming your content?

But even as I say that, I know this underlying truth applies to high school versions 1.0 AND 2.0: whatever the societal beauty standards are at any given time, those who follow them are more likely to succeed.

So, having a cool fashion sense or genuinely interesting things to say will distinguish you and help you get more attention, but you are still more likely to make waves if you’re conventionally attractive.

Speaking from a female perspective, the insecurity becomes debilitating when we compare ourselves to others and wonder why we fall short. In a few clicks, we discover countless women who are sexier, more popular, more stylish, and more carefree than we could ever hope to be.

Just add “Am I pretty enough? How can I make myself more attractive? Will I ever be good enough to matter??” to the list of insecurities that comes with striving for social media fame.

I’ve been making YouTube and TikTok videos for a while now. I’ve observed of myself and others that one’s thirst for validation cannot be quenched because there’s no ceiling. At least in high school, there are a finite number of peers to impress. On social media, the never-ending push for more, more, more is mentally exhausting.

I got 100 followers – now the goal is 500. I got 500 followers – now I need 1,000. Now, 10,000. Now, 100,000. etc. (same concept with likes and views)

I’ve been mulling over these topics as I go through a quarter life crisis, assessing how I’ve spent my time the last few years, what I hope to accomplish in my 30’s, what my true “purpose” is, etc.

Getting back to blogging has been a big step in a positive direction. Spending more time writing and less time worrying about “likes” has felt so right. (Okay, people still “like” blog posts, but at least the focus isn’t superficial.)

I want to keep making YouTube and TikTok videos, but it should be a fun hobby, rather than a source of anxiety and self-loathing.

The posting cycle is genuinely stressful – it’s like a drug, an emotional roller coaster. When I post something that gets a lot of attention, my brain surges with happy chemicals; it’s ecstasy. But I hate posting something and NOT getting the attention I expected. It’s a sucky feeling that sends my my insecurities into a tailspin: I’m not cute enough, funny enough, creative enough…

[Check out this article to learn about some reasons for and consequences of social media addiction.]

And, honestly, is it even necessary – that self-imposed pressure to be popular?

On my death bed, will I wish I’d gotten more YouTube subscribers, or will I wish I devoted time to doing things I love, things I’m really passionate about?

[I realize making videos is a passion for many people. But it’s important to distinguish the love of creating content from the need for validation. And for those seeking to turn content creation into a full-time career, this advice may not apply, but it’s important for the other 99% of us to hear.]

I was recommended a YouTube video a few days ago that addresses similar topics and man, how timely! I’m thankful I was led to it. The creator discusses how pride drives us and we should conform to the humble way Jesus lived – the kind of conformity I can stand behind 🙂