Relinquishing Control (as a Disabled Christian)

Hi, friends. Ever heard the saying “if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself?” While most people wish they could control everything, Christians know that even when we create the illusion of control, God is still the creator and the judge.

Relinquishing control is hard enough for a “normal” person. But what if you depended on others for more things than not…for most things, in fact? As a handicapped person, I’ve progressively relinquished more and more control, and now, I rely on my family, boyfriend, etc. for almost everything. [I love and appreciate them dearly.]

Luckily, I have a big brain, and I can control what happens in it. I can read the books I want, maintain a blog about things I like, and grow in my personal faith journey. And though I can’t control my condition, I can fight to maintain some abilities via exercise, and I can decide whether to be bitter or inspiring as a wheelchair user.

What I can’t control is primarily physical. I can’t go home alone because someone needs to help me up the stairs. My coworkers help me get in and out of the building. I can’t take all the classes I want because I can’t get from point A to point B in X minutes.

That’s rough enough, but it’s the constant minutiae that grates on me worse. Let’s say I asked someone to get X out of my car, but they return and say it’s not there. Is it not in there? Or did they not really look? And that’s when I mourn my lack of independence. If I could just walk outside or downstairs to my car and look myself…so simple but such an ordeal. Many moments like that occur daily.

One thing we can all control is our acceptance or rejection of God. Whether you’re a king, a slave, a handicapped person, or somewhere in the middle, no man (or illness) can take away your salvation because it is God’s free gift. Salvation is more important and more contenting than anything…even the ability to walk. Love the Lord and love your neighbor because God is love! As for the rest of it…

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

Thanks for reading!


  1. My dearest Lily, if you only knew how much you inspire me. Remember, for every little thing that challenges you day-to-day, God has blessed you ten-fold. You, in turn, bless others with a multitude of gifts including your knowledge, your wit, your faith, your beauty, and your attitude. I love you!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. While I’m not handicapped, I still qualify for mobility impaired seating and a handicap parking placard due to my heart condition. It means I lack the strength and torque to do common handy-man tasks. I’m also about a half foot shorter than the average male so there’s quite a bit of feelings of inadequacy as I need friends or family do a lot of the tasks most guys can do. I know from your blog that you deal with much more, but I have some small sense of the lack of control or independence.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I bet you have some of my fatigue issues since we both have heart problems. It’s rough when you’re not as independent as you want to be, but people who have less control (like us) must develop spiritual wisdom and patience. Our struggles are refining us like silver. (Psalm 66:10) (yes I had to look it up lol)

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Very insightful post. I think that handicapped or not, almost everyone struggle at some point when not in control of the situation. I can only imagine how tough it can be for you but I find it great that you choose to be inspiring over bitter about your reality. You really are inspiring and I hope you remain so 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Irene! You are right that everyone struggles with lack of control. I’m sure that having small children, you feel out of control a lot from their behavior to hoping bad things don’t happen to them to wondering how they will turn out. And, as with me and my disability, I’m sure you just roll with the punches and trust the Lord!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. My dear and sweet Miss Lily: thank you for your constant upbeat attitude and personality. There is so much life in you and optimism! While I’m an old guy with regular old guy infirmities, I’ve never possessed the glow, the decent & excellent spirit as you. Hang in there and continue your good work with the Lord. Thank you for all you do and may the Good Lord Bless you always. I will keep you in my prayers.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Lily, I love the realness and authenticity of your posts. I can only imagine what you are going through, but I thank God that you have the fortitude to take the mask off and share it with us. You are loved and respected my sister. V.R.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Thank you Lily for sharing. I also have a disability that prevents me from doing things I want or need to do sometimes. I hate the fact that I also have to ask for help sometimes. Then I think about it and there is someone always worse than me. You are very inspiring. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Remembering that God is the author of our faith, not our co-pilot can be difficult for us sometimes. We surrender in the midst of a storm, but once the weather clears we’re busy trying to get back in the drivers’ seat. Excellent post. Thanks for sharing Lily!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Your words show a beauty and strength of spirit that I would guess comes from your faith in the Lord. Thank you for choosing to follow my blog. I pray the Lord will use the words to encourage and strengthen you for each day’s journey. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Stay strong. You are an amazing person. Acceptance is the strength and once you have it comma you can use it as a swag. Being a low vision person, I can understand it hurts at times to be dependent on others. But the good news is, you are unique and that matters.


  10. There is a little joke and it goes something like this: A mom punished her small boy for misbehaving. His punishment was she made him sit still in a chair in the corner of the room for a while.

    Some time passed and his Mom entered the room and asked: “How do you feel now?” The little child chirped: “I might be sitting down on the outside, but I’m standing up on the inside!”

    You know Lily, some peole may not be sitting in wheelchairs on the outside, but they are sitting in wheelchairs on the inside. You have a gift on the inside that shines well beyond your circumstances on the outside. When you really think about it, you just might have the better deal because we spend most of our time either sitting or lying down. Maybe I’m wrong, but the thought is interesting nonetheless. Keep up the great work. You are touching the folks that come across your blog. And keep the light shining of yours!

    Be Blessed.


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