Ugh, hey friends. Has anyone else’s life been turned upside down by this pandemic and the resulting panic?
I spent the first half of the week hauling SASS to finish up the next newsletter for my district of United Methodist Women. Then, on Wednesday, Coronavirus was officially deemed an epidemic. We had a mission study on radical discipleship in the gospel of Mark planned for this coming Saturday and an event the first week of April memorializing UMW ladies who passed away last year–both of which we decided to cancel. Most of our ladies fall in the most vulnerable group who can contract the virus (those who are age 60+ and/or have underlying health conditions). Though I’m just 26-years-old, I have cardiomyopathy due to Friedreich’s Ataxia.
Postponing these cherished events indefinitely feels so defeating. I hope and pray we have a better grasp on this soon. I can’t begin to wrap my mind around our having to cancel even more events in our district, not to mention the big-time events for our whole conference.
I’ve felt annoyed towards God this week. I spent so much time and mental energy completing the newsletter, and now, we’re hitting “pause.” Some of the things I laid out so meticulously might turn out to be irrelevant. Every day this week has been stressful or disheartening. I’ve also fallen a few times, and my gym has been closed for renovation; due to my rapidly-progressive disease, my not walking for a while could have terrible consequences. [I’ve exercised at home, but there are many things–like walking–I can only do with my trainer in the gym.] When I thought things couldn’t get worse, someone close to me confided that they’re constantly exhausted and borderline depressed. Yay, more good news–not!
Having had a little time to process the event postponements, and especially after pouring out my thoughts (complaints) in this space, I realize that I’m just being dramatic. To be fair, I think we all are at times…especially if we live in a first-world country. None of what I’m dealing with even remotely qualifies as the end of the world. It is what it is. Qué sera, sera. Choose gratitude. Rather than being angry with God, I need to dwell in the hope and peace He offers in the good seasons and the bad, too.
FRIDAY MORNING UPDATE: I worked out with my trainer in a different gym yesterday. Walking around and feeling the blood flow through my legs was awesome and much-needed! Also, I’ve been so busy this week I didn’t have time for (prioritize) a full devotional time the last 3-4 days. A devotional time looks different for everyone (hey, look–a blog post idea!), but for me, the not-rushed-version takes about an hour–about 30 minutes praying, about 30 minutes reading scripture. I feel 10x lighter right now. The old hymn is true…
When you feel a little prayer wheel turning And you know a little fire is burning You will find a little talk with Jesus makes it right (It makes it riiiight)
Thanks for reading, y’all. Maybe I’ll have the wherewithal to turn out a more polished post next Friday; this week has just been too chaotic and weird for me. So, are you taking precautions? Is your corner of the world infected yet? Does anyone else remember that hymn? Let me know in the comments.