Coronavirus Came in Like a Wrecking Ball

Ugh, hey friends. Has anyone else’s life been turned upside down by this pandemic and the resulting panic?

I spent the first half of the week hauling SASS to finish up the next newsletter for my district of United Methodist Women. Then, on Wednesday, Coronavirus was officially deemed an epidemic. We had a mission study on radical discipleship in the gospel of Mark planned for this coming Saturday and an event the first week of April memorializing UMW ladies who passed away last year–both of which we decided to cancel. Most of our ladies fall in the most vulnerable group who can contract the virus (those who are age 60+ and/or have underlying health conditions). Though I’m just 26-years-old, I have cardiomyopathy due to Friedreich’s Ataxia.

Postponing these cherished events indefinitely feels so defeating. I hope and pray we have a better grasp on this soon. I can’t begin to wrap my mind around our having to cancel even more events in our district, not to mention the big-time events for our whole conference.

I’ve felt annoyed towards God this week. I spent so much time and mental energy completing the newsletter, and now, we’re hitting “pause.” Some of the things I laid out so meticulously might turn out to be irrelevant. Every day this week has been stressful or disheartening. I’ve also fallen a few times, and my gym has been closed for renovation; due to my rapidly-progressive disease, my not walking for a while could have terrible consequences. [I’ve exercised at home, but there are many things–like walking–I can only do with my trainer in the gym.] When I thought things couldn’t get worse, someone close to me confided that they’re constantly exhausted and borderline depressed. Yay, more good news–not!

Having had a little time to process the event postponements, and especially after pouring out my thoughts (complaints) in this space, I realize that I’m just being dramatic. To be fair, I think we all are at times…especially if we live in a first-world country. None of what I’m dealing with even remotely qualifies as the end of the world. It is what it is. Quรฉ sera, sera. Choose gratitude. Rather than being angry with God, I need to dwell in the hope and peace He offers in the good seasons and the bad, too.

FRIDAY MORNING UPDATE: I worked out with my trainer in a different gym yesterday. Walking around and feeling the blood flow through my legs was awesome and much-needed! Also, I’ve been so busy this week I didn’t have time for (prioritize) a full devotional time the last 3-4 days. A devotional time looks different for everyone (hey, look–a blog post idea!), but for me, the not-rushed-version takes about an hour–about 30 minutes praying, about 30 minutes reading scripture. I feel 10x lighter right now. The old hymn is true…

When you feel a little prayer wheel turning
And you know a little fire is burning
You will find a little talk with Jesus makes it right
(It makes it riiiight)

Thanks for reading, y’all. Maybe I’ll have the wherewithal to turn out a more polished post next Friday; this week has just been too chaotic and weird for me. So, are you taking precautions? Is your corner of the world infected yet? Does anyone else remember that hymn? Let me know in the comments.

41 comments

  1. Sorry to read you’ve been having a tough time, Lils. It is frustrating when life’s ‘unexpecteds’ happen, but your approach seems spot on; gotta keep trusting and keeping on! Sending love, hugs, and prayers from London! ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thanks, buddy! I just read your post and I do relate to the frustration and anger at injustice and pain. I find myself saying in my prayers, “Lord, in your sovereignty, help and heal your children who are oppressed…free those in human trafficking, domestic abuse, child abuse…lead those experiencing homelessness to food and shelter and stable situations…etc. (trying to name all groups of people who suffer).” I also pray He can help me have some kind of insight into WHY…JUST WHY. Hugs to you from North Carolina, USA. โ™ฅ

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It is certainly true that personal suffering makes us sensitive to the suffering of others, and maybe that’s one of God’s principle purposes in it all.

        Your consistency in weekly blogging on a Friday is so awesome and it puts me to shame. You’re so organised! You deserve every success in your life for all the hard work you put in.

        I said a prayer for you just now for health, for your relationships, for your blog, and for your life in general. I feel very blessed to have a blogging buddy like you! Take care and keep being awesome! ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป

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      2. Hey, maybe you are part of the answer to my prayer–the concept of empathy accompanying personal suffering is a good point and something to chew on. I’m sure building “character” has to do with it also–increasing strength, faith, endurance, perspective. Ugh, the suffering in the world just seems so…excessive. Speaking of perspective, maybe I am not considering the “excessiveness” of light, hope, joy, and kindness in the world.

        Thank you! Sometimes I start editing the draft Monday, other times–not until Thursday (oops). But I do manage to stay on schedule! ๐Ÿ™‚ Having “backup drafts” is my saving grace, though I have less of those now due to other obligations. I better take advantage of all this to stockpile a few more.

        Thanks for your prayers, Steven. I will do the same for you. Take care! โ™ฅ

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      3. Yes, you’re right… there is a lot of joy and beauty and light in the world as well. I hope I’m as able and eager to express that as all the bad stuff, which as you say, seems a little too much sometimes!

        Hey, we should have a conversation about organisation and productivity tools at some point because I’ve been trying some out recently and it’s been really helpful ๐Ÿ™‚

        Thanks for the prayers in return, much appreciated! Peace and blessings ๐Ÿ’›

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  2. Such a sweet and honest post Lily!! You are so right, itโ€™s so important to squeeze in that devotional time to get a good positive perspective, something I need to work at prioritizing more, Iโ€™ve been keeping it too short and simple and my faith is trudging along as a result…I have to remember that Satan gets his kicks when I allow this to happen so I need to reprioritize quickly!!
    We have a womenโ€™s event coming up in a few weeks that we are considering postponing due to the coronavirus outbreak, we all need to be praying fervently that it would go away already!!!!๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Alicia! Oh so true that letting our time with God slide weakens faith. Though I admit to skipping days, I can feel the difference in my mind, heart, and spirit. All this stockpiling reminds me of the faithlessness of the Hebrews when they were collecting more manna than they needed. In a time of faithlessness, we need to keep ours strong!

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  3. Glad you were able to meet with your trainer!
    It seems they have cancelled everything but work here in Virginia, lol. I keep waiting for the message that we’re going to close too.
    Schools are closed for a minimum of two weeks.

    I remember that hymn! Love it!! A little talk with Jesus DOES make it right! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

  4. My university shut down today. I was told to go to clinical but we got sent home early. Now clinical is cancelled, thereโ€™s no lab on Monday, and the rest of the semester will be online. Thereโ€™s no toilet paper in stores, no bread, and no meat. Iโ€™ve never felt so many different emotions all in one night.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Btw exams are cancelled so Iโ€™m technically done my theory classes. I feel like Iโ€™ve been on vacation for the past week. It hardly feels like school ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ

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  5. Busy. Weird.

    Two words that characterize my week.

    Right now, I’m stressed and exhausted. There’s so much to do. 24 hours doesn’t seem enough anymore.

    I also got mad at God this week. For the first time ever, I lost it and lashed out. But I know God understands and can handle my frustration.

    About Coronavirus: It’s yet to hit Nigeria. I hear the health officials are working to ensure the pandemic stays off the land.

    I’m sorry you had to cancel your plans. I’m so sorry about your legs and the fall.

    I trust God to heal you.

    Thanks for being vulnerable.

    There’s no better polished post than this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your kind words and for sharing, Faith. I have learned from the Bible that even God’s most beloved children have been angry with Him or unfaithful. Thank goodness for His unconditional love. Has it hit Nigeria yet?

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  6. Lily. I think you were able to put into words the frustration we are all feeling: cancellations, lack of necessities at the store, concerns about the unknowns and when will we get back to ‘normal’ ? And thanks for reminding me that we all need Grace, Grit, and Gratitude ( note: this phrase is from a United Methodist Women’s event). ๐Ÿ™‚

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  7. Hi Sweet Lily, Yes it has been a hectic week for us as well, Roy had 2 Doctor appointments plus an x-ray done Mon and Tuesday. Those days are very tiring for him and myself as well. But all is well! We are staying in as much as possible. This virus isa scary thing. But God will see us through. Yes I remember that hymn I love it! I haven’t been grocery shopping since last Mon I went in Aldi in Kernersville while Roy waited in the car. I have heard about the stores shelves being empty. I’ll need to go the first of the week for a few things I hope I can find what I need and get back home asap. I’m glad you got to go exercise and walk. I walked myself yesterday with a neighbor I love to walk. I do know it is much different than you, I amd just glad you CAN still walk with your trainer. I still pray for the medication to be approved and you can start taking it soon. I enjoyed your post. I think we can all relate to it. Love and Prayers Deb

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    1. Hey Deb. Glad to know you and Roy are doing well! I have missed our church family. I have heard that people are going bonkers buying everything; I hope you have what you need. I’m also glad you got outside and enjoyed a walk. On the bright side, at least it is turning into Spring! Love you and hope to see you again sometime soon.

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  8. We were told my husband’s college, like other schools, decided to do everything online for the rest of the semester. This is bad for him because the classes he has, a lot of them, are on hands on, and he needs to be able to do the labs with the equipment at the school.

    We got groceries Thursday, and pretty much got everything. When I saw how everyone was panicking more yesterday there were a few items I wanted to see if we could get in case of quarantine, which has already been brought up as a possibility for my state. People are encouraged, at least for one county, to get some supplies, for a 2 to 3 week period. When we went back to the store today, thankfully, though the shelves were getting bare we were able to get what we needed and were provided for.

    I appreciate the break you had for this post, and sharing your reflection. I think a lot of people need to see how we struggle and get frustrated, and then how we need to deal with it. I’m glad the women are protected in your group. I think what you were working towards was not in vain. I know everything, especially with the blog, I’ve done, even if it doesn’t go the way I want, God teaches me something. He uses the experience to help me with the next thing. I believe He will use this, too. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very true–He can use everything! That reminds me of a video Lecrae posted recently where He talked about not being able to change the situation but being able to be changed within/through the situation. He referred to his friend with a life sentence in prison who was restless and angry for years but eventually was drawn to become a new creation in Christ. I related to that so much with Coronavirus and also with my disability, living situation, etc. Even if we can’t change the situation, the grace of Jesus can work on us in spite of the circumstances. ๐Ÿ™‚ Sorry to hear that about your husband. I hope, if nothing else, you might get to spend a little more time with him.

      Liked by 1 person

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